


Our children

by LongLiveHeda (lost_but_alive)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Fluff and Angst, lexa cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6718411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_but_alive/pseuds/LongLiveHeda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being married for some time Clarke approaches Lexa with an idea of starting a family, but apparently they have completely different understanding of what that means. Lexa prepares herself for the hardest experience of her life but instead gets the most incredible surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our children

"You haven't left yet?" Clarke groans sleepily, snuggling into Lexa. Her hand slips past furs, trying to find the other girl's palm. 

"The Desert Clan's delegation still hasn't arrived, so we put off the clan's meeting till afternoon." Lexa claps her hand with her own, helping with her blind searching. She smiles affectionately at her wife's blonde hair covering messily their pillow, her content and calm expression and her still closed eyes. It's been nearly two years since they got married after finally establishing peace, but Lexa still feels like she's falling more and more in love with Clarke everyday. She would have never thought it was possible, would have completely dismissed it if it happened to someone else. But it was her and Clarke. And no matter how cheesy it sounds every time Lexa looks at her she sees her soulmate. Her whole universe. That one person perfect for her. 

She's never anticipated the happily ever after, never dared to. She's the Commander. None of them lived as long as she does by now. None of them even had a chance for true happiness and stable relationship, not to mention getting one. But somehow fate was generous to her. Clarke loves her just as much as she loves Clarke. Both of them managed to get alive out of every war thrown at them and now they are just able to enjoy their lives together. Including lazy morning when Lexa doesn't have to attempt any meeting at the ridiculously early hours. 

"But I have to leave soon, check upon the rest of representatives and try to find out why Sankru are being late." Her heart melts a little when Clarke pouts, holding her tighter. 

"I'm pretty sure your Coalition can survive without you for a few more hours." 

"I doubt Titus would agree with you." Lexa joked lightly at expanse of her mentor that even after all those years still hasn't approved of their relationship yet. Sometimes his subtle bickering with Clare was becoming annoying but for the most part it was just funny. 

"For all I care he can come here and try to drag you out of this bed personally." The blonde's pout grows in size and she finally opens her eyes. Blue orbs shimmer with mischief. 

"I think he declared that it was the last time he's allowing this, when he dragged me to the visit the new blacksmith last month." 

"As he could really do anything about it." Clarke just rolls her eyes and both of them end up laughing.  

"You said yesterday that you wanted to discuss something with me, when we would have more time." Lexa approaches the subject, still with a smile on her face after they calmed down a little. Clarke said it wasn't urgent, but she's been worrying anyway. She didn't dare waking her wife earlier, but she spent last hour just laying in her bed, admiring Clarke and waiting for her to wake up. 

"Yeah." The topic has to be at least semi-serious, because Clarke distances herself a little from Lexa to be able to look at her properly. She pushes her bed hair to the side and concentrates her fully awake eyes on her. "I have been thinking..." She starts confidently, but then just stops clearly unsure. That actually makes Lexa truly anxious. They’ve been always completely honest and open with each other, talking about everything without problems since they fully moved past the issue of betrayal in the mountains. 

"What it is Clarke? You're alright?" She watches her wife with concern, resting her hand encouragingly on her naked waist. 

"Yes. Honestly Lexa? I'm so much more than alright. I've never been happier in my life." The blonde smiles lovingly at her and Lexa could swear she felt her heart skipping a beat and fluttering in her chest. After all those years Clarke still has that effect on her, and she couldn't be faster to nod her head approvingly to her statement. Because she also has never been happier. Never even dreamt to be that happy. "My friends and family are safe. The war has finally ended. And most importantly I have you. Here with me. Every evening and every morning." Clarke kisses Lexa's palm, her eyes shining with excitement, hope and a little bit of nervousness. "And I think that maybe, now when we have peace. We could think about... starting family. Together." With her final word Clarke squeezes her hand tightly, but it's barely acknowledged in her mind when her heart falls suddenly, feeling ten times heavier.  

"You want us to have children?" She pushes it through her lips with difficulties. "Don't we have enough kids running around?" She forces herself to joke, hoping desperation doesn't show in her voice. 

"Yeah, I know and I love all your _natblidas_ _,_ but I want us to have our own children." Clarke clearly detects that something isn't right, but her hopeful smile still shines on her lips. "Little Clarkes and Lexas." She squeezes her wife hand again and it's literally the only thing that stops Lexa from fainting and brings her back to reality which is... completely heartbreaking. 

Clarke wants to have children. Biological children. She wants to give birth to them. And as much Lexa loves kids, loves Clarke and have been more than happy to rise Nightbloods with her help, she knows what it means. They're both women. There's no walking around that. There is only one way to get pregnant and it involves one of them being with a man. Potentially more than once. She heard about couples that have decided for something like that, but she can't stop the coldness, pain and jealously suffocating her from the inside. 

"If you really wish so..." This time her voice breaks a little, but she tries to smile for her wife's sake. If this was something Clarke really wanted, Lexa would never dare to take it from her. Her wife happiness is more important than her insecurities. Clarke loves her, she loves Clarke. They can make it work. "This is serious matter, Clarke. Maybe we can revisit it after my meeting with ambassadors?" She hears herself say instead, detaching herself from her wife embrace and getting up from bed. 

"Yeah, of course..." The blonde answers, finally catching up with Lexa's emotions. Her voice and face are full of hurt, disappointment and felling of rejection. Lexa wishes nothing more than to just take her in her arms and make everything better, but she can't force herself to do this, with an image of her wife and some other man burnt into her mind. She needs time to process it. Clare should understand that. 

"Have a good day _hodness_ " She stiffly kisses Clarke on the cheek and leaves as soon as she put some clothes on her, not even caring if they are appropriate for meetings she has to attend to. 

* * *

 

She has her conversation with Clarke stuck in her mind on constant replay for the rest of the day. She tries to concentrate on the issues brought to her attention, but the only thing she can think about is Clarke. Titus snarls at her every few minutes for not listening, but she can't care less and can't be more relieved when the door finally closes after the last delegator. 

She walks on her balcony, taking deep breath and gathering her thoughts. She still fells hurt but regrets her behaviour in the morning. She should have discussed it properly with Clarke instead of leaving and dismissing her. If they want to make it work, the key is the proper communication between them. And there isn't even a shadow of doubt in her mind about this plan if Clarke wants it. She's already decided, but it's in any way not stop her heart from bleeding. 

She hears the door's opening and is ready to snap at whoever walks inside for disturbing her peace when she recognizes her wife. The smile that always appears on her lips when she sees Clarke freezes this time. The blonde has to notice it, because she stops abruptly, fidgeting with her hands. 

"How did the meeting go?" She askes flatly, after the long silence. 

"There is nothing to worry about." Lexa answers just as emotionless. She's not even sure if it's true. She needs to go through everything again with Titus later. 

"Great." Clarke deflates even more, after that short, cold reply. "Listen Lexa, I'm sorry I just pushed all of this on you in the morning. I just thought..." Her voice breaks a little just like Lexa's heart when she sees Clarke's eyes filling with tears. "I don’t want to pressure you into anything." She explains quickly. 

"Clarke, wait. You did nothing wrong." Lexa joins her, taking her hand into hers. "I will be honoured to rise your children." She ensures her sincerely. 

"Our children." Clarke corrects her, furrowing her brows. 

"Of course." Lexa curses herself in her mind for that slip. "All your children will be mine as well and I will love them just as much." She hopes that it would erase her wife's worries, but Clarke's looking at her stunned and uncertain. 

"Okay. You're really taking it strangely. I kind of assumed I will be bearing the child, because of your position, but if you prefer, you can be the one to give birth to them." She slowly says, making Lexa's head spin a little. Her first reaction was absolutely no, but after the few second she really begins thinking it through. That way she wouldn't have to suffer over Clarke's being with someone else, but on the other hand she really doesn't want to put her wife in that position and if Clarke cares that much about having biological child she won't take it from her. 

"No, you're right." She replied stiffly, distancing herself from Clarke and sitting on her throne. She needs it for the question she's about to ask. "Have you thought about the father yet?" She hopes her voice isn't as grim as her mood. 

"What father?" Clarke looks at her like she's crazy, her brows rising again. 

"Clarke, we're both women. You know there is no way for me to impregnate you?" Lexa mimics her expression, becoming completely lost with the course of this conversation even more when the blonde suddenly starts laughing. 

"Oh, Lexa." She smiles at her lovingly, making her way towards her. "You talked with my mother about medical technology we brought back to Earth with the Ark. I thought she told you." 

"Told me what?" The brunette is still completely lost, but doesn't stop her wife when she puts her arms around her neck and positions herself on her lap. 

"That we can have children without having sex with a man." Clarke snuggles more into her, kissing her cheek and than ear, explaining everything. "I wouldn't put us through something like that. I'm not that desperate to have biological child. And even if, I would discuss it with you properly. Our marriage and love are the most important things to me, you know." She places another kiss on Lexa forehead finally smoothing wrinkles that formed there from all the worry and hurt. 

"I heard that there were methods to use father's genetic material without intercourse." Lexa mumbles under her breath not believing that Abby forgot to tell her something like that. 

"Lexa, first things first. There is no father." Clarke looks at her pointedly. "Before the apocalypse, people discovered a way to extract female genetic material and create a substitute of male's germ cells from it. We had that technology on Ark, someone perfected it and few people even used it and we brought that to Earth." She smiled brightly, ending her speech with another kiss. 

"You mean that... we can have children... together?" Lexa askes her slowly, her mind literally blowing away with this revelation. She can't believe it. 

"Yes." Clarke squeals happily on her laps, her enthusiasm getting the best of her. "I don't understand why you're so surprised. We finished a war against an AI and virtual reality not so long ago. This isn't even close to that level of unbelievability." 

"Our children?" Lexa repeated dumbfoundedly. She's blown away with emotions and thoughts. Too much to comprehend at once.  

"Yes. Little Clarkes and Lexas." Clarke's voice becomes affectionate and tender. "With my blue eyes, artistic soul and smile and with your killer jawline", she caresses her face with her finger and then tangling them in her hair, "your perfect hair and those plump lips." She catches said lips in a tender kiss that leaves Lexa breathless. 

"You thought a lot about it." She murmurs, her voice breaking for the second time that day, but from completely different reason. Clarke blushes and lowers her eyes. 

"Maybe..." She whispers with a smirk that utterly breaks Lexa's self-control. 

"Our children." She repeats like in a trans, single tear making it's way down her cheek. She can count all the times she cried in her life with her fingers and more than the half is somehow connected with Clarke. When they had sex for the first time, when they were reunited after the fall of Arkadia, on their weeding day... and the night and day after. And now, when they decided to start a family. Together. 

"I guess I finally sold you on this idea." The blonde kisses away her tears tenderly, snuggling as close as humanly possible on the throne that isn't suitable for two persons. 

"I love you so much, Clarke." Lexa mumbled incoherently in her neck, her trikru's accent slipping in because of her overwhelming emotions. She has so many questions, so many things to say, but for now she's not even able to form anything else. 

"I love you too..." The blonde repeats immediately. 

"Our children..." 

"Yes, _hodness_. Our own, biological children. Better get used to this idea. 

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a lot of clexa!family stuff on tumblr lately and got inspired to write this. It's a one-shot for now, but maybe I will turn it into something longer one day. As for this idea I just want to say that I'm definitely not a specialist on biology, but I'm totally convinced that it will be possible to people of the same gender have children together in the future. I actually think it's a little bit like with cloning – theoretically we could achieve it, but no one can just randomly start experimenting on humans. I think it's even more in our reach than creating AI, because in that topic there is still a lot of things we don't know and have no idea how to overcome. So I have my personal headcanon that if they have created an AI, they also had to have that kind of technology. If you want to discuss my pseudo-science or anything, you can find me on tumblr: lostbutalive-andverygay.


End file.
